TRANSFORMATIONS HAPPEN IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT : KARMA

India, the hub of spiritual wonder has fascinating lessons for life and business transformation. The Gita, our big scripture is set on a battlefield called ‘Mahabharata’, where absolute peace is being propagated in the midst of havoc. Contradictory as it may sound, the scripture shows that it is our duty to maintain inner calm in the wake of worldly noise to be able to perform at our best as a human being. It assigns duty or karma the highest place in human life. In a battle between brothers, the good and evil, Lord Krishna asks his disciple Arjuna to follow his duty as a Warrior. On the one hand is the dampened spirit of Arjuna who is not able to reconcile to the fact, that he is destined to kill his own kin. On the other hand, his advisor Lord Krishna, teaches him Karma of a Warrior i.e. never to back off in a battlefield. In the end, Arjuna follows the path of duty to be transformed from an ordinary warrior to elevated being, known as the biggest warrior in Indian Scriptures.

Gita teaches the big lesson on ‘Perspectives’. What we see in a given situation as against what we can possibly see, creates the massive space where all ‘transformation’ in the human mind takes place. How we perceive life is what gives it any meaning and how we respond to what we perceive is what ‘causes’ anything in our lives. How can this help women to transform their personal and business lives? Embracing a duty driven perspective is the ultimate TRANSFORMATION tool, for it defines what is right for us and what we choose to perceive as not right. It is empowering in as much as it asks us to be in the Driver’s Seat of defining perspectives. If we were to follow this simple lesson from the Gita, we can know for a fact that we are under no obligation to perceive things as they always have been. We are also under no obligation to respond to all perception in the way it has always been done.

1.Pause and play to break patterns: Our minds are conditioned to react and define things. If we paused before reacting and chose a response instead to gender situations, what would change? Everything! E.g. Women in general are desirous of more but fear being perceived as ambitious, reacting in ways so they could never fully express that desire. What is our duty and towards whom? We know we have a duty towards ourselves. If we never insta-played to perceptions, instead pause and then play our own empowering duty driven perspective, we will see ourselves transform for we live with what empowers and nothing else.

2.Relationships mean reformation: The ones we feel right in and the ones we do not feel right in are all of reformatory value. Relationships are the primary mental-emotional interaction field. The best and worst relationships shape our perspectives about people. We choose the best relationships to continue with and avoid the ones that are not so great, but we must never discount the importance of the worst ones. Why? They are the key creators of the personality perspective of who we do not want to be. What is our duty? Have evolving relationships that transform and reform.

3.Business is organic, So are you: A business does not need a mere academic business perspective. With an identity, life, growth of its own, business is itself an organic process. Needless to mention, it is driven by an organically growing individual, the woman herself. Which one takes precedence is the question? Duty is the answer. Business makes its own rules dependent on the capacity and perspective of the business owner. Both grow with each other and how many rules one must make or follow depends on the organic duty requirement in any given moment. The inter-dependence makes the rules and causes transformations.

Why follow duty? Duty boils down to giving without knowing what we will get it return. Give to who and for what? The answer may sometimes be ‘nothing’ at all, from the world perspective. But from our inner perspective it is ‘giving’ to ourselves for our inner and outer transformations. A duty is always a responsibility towards ourselves, nothing less, nothing more.

More on this in my Book NUCLEUS: Power Women, Lead from the Core

THE NUCLEUS OF BUSINESS:

IT’S ACHIEVEMENT POTENTIAL

We always begin with the ‘expected potential’ but how many Entrepreneurs can safely guarantee the ‘achievement’ potential of their business? It is not just the good idea or a good plan but the executor and execution of that idea and plan. It depends on the Entrepreneur himself, he being at the center of ‘sowing the seed and reaping the fruit’ in business. I call it the ‘Nucleus or Center of business’. It is about holding the center so well, that one is able to understand, fill and bridge the gaps that go unnoticed when we are looking at the big picture of the business. How does one then strategize and measure the ‘achievement potential’?

1.The Ambassador Dynamic: You are the ambassador of your idea, its benefits, the value it creates and how you intend to turn it into a profitable business. That makes you a seller, a marketer, a mouthpiece, a face, a life revolving around your idea. A compelling story of the needs, solution, value and benefits becomes your language and communication. You have to be a great ambassador if not exceptional.

2.The Visibility Dynamic: This is one of the most important things to keep in mind. We have heard of the differentiating factor but we have to figure positioning of the business. The intent is to create the right kind of visibility that turns the business into a profitable venture. How you are seen and how do you want to be seen? How do you find a place in the minds of an already overcrowded market and over exposed mind space . This is what will drive your entire marketing activity, customer identification, your own understanding of the need and your unique solution.

3.The Receiver Dynamic: Who is at the receiving end of your product or service? The market and the customer need not always be the same. The markets look at you as a supplier as well as a competitor, while the customer engages with you on the value you provide to him individually. While one builds a customer, it is essential to keep an eye on the market that not only houses your customer, but depends on a variety of customers and suppliers. Once you enter the market, you have to watch out for the customer and the competition both.

4.The End Game Dynamic: A question that every Entrepreneur must ask himself is ‘What is the value that you would want to gain if you were to sell your business’? Given that the ‘maximum’ a business would be valued would be at the time of it being sold, even if it were not meant to be, is a thought to be pondered upon. What kind of value can you create within a business for it to become valuable for a buyer, investor or partner. Not just monetary business value but the business health too. How healthy the business is to run and continue to make money.

5.The Tangent Dynamic: The business will always have multiple areas of activities/tangents. Each tangent is individual but never mutually exclusive. Each part of a business depends and /or affects other parts of the business. Do you have tangent checks and balances system in place? Have you any systems in place that measure the effect of performance or non-performance of one tangent on another? This is where most gaps, losses, loss of opportunity occur. This will clarify the gaps to be filled and /or bridged, so they can support each other. A continuous check on their performance and balance is essential.

6.The Measurement Dynamic: The growth factor in your business is the primary selling point of your business. Which tangent needs to grow and which can stay neutral and how to concentrate resources on a particular tangent becomes crucial. Measuring growth in each tangential context is the key. Systems to cross-measure will give the lead into how much financial and non-financial support is needed in each tangent. The need for a new strategy to replace an old one or an innovation in any one tangent or across tangents becomes visible.

7.The Stake Holder Dynamic: If you need to raise capital for your business it is important to have a big picture and a well strategized and understood tangent picture to present to investors or prospective stake holders. Once aligned and visible from the top and sides, raising capital becomes easier as the detailed blueprint instills more confidence than the idea by itself. This is the best way to reduce the risk in an investor’s mind.

With the Nucleus outlook of being at the Center and creating systems for tangential control and growth, laser focus is created within a business. It simplifies spotting and fill gaps, identify risk areas, build hedge strategies and create right kind of controls.

It is ideal to run the business with its achievement potential fully strategized and from the Nucleus.

HAPPINESS IS..BUT A CHOICE!

February 5, 2013 at 9:45am

It ‘pains’ when happiness of any kind is questioned by those who do not understand it or have not seen enough of it.There is not enough of it in the World and trying to shadow happiness, questioning happiness, belittling happiness, calling it names, doubting happiness indicates a ‘way of life’ not quite happy in itself…But ‘happiness’ is as much a dream like any other..happiness is as much a destination as any other…

What is this happiness and why is it so rare to find?? Is there a method to happiness? Is there a definition?

Life brings all kinds of experience but the choice to ‘allow’ any experience to become a matter of unhappiness can be a conscious choice..though we accept every experience as an ultimate happening…weighing towards the sad side of life..Allowing that experience to define our minds as if that is the ‘only’ reality..failing to see ‘beyond’ and ‘above’..even though the Human Being possesses ‘functionality’, ‘discernability’ and choices..we do not make a choice to be happy…Often life is unfair, people are mean, unjust and un benevolent..Often God does not listen when you need him most and friends vanish when help is required. Often your closest people find ways to obstruct your way for the most frivolous reasons..Often you face what you feel you do not deserve…Often the World is harsh and often ‘happiness’ is the biggest ‘trade off’ that life has to exchange for living…Often we ‘ place’ pain as the biggest hurdle to happiness ..Pain causes unhappiness, but inspite of that, we can choose to not let that happen…Then the World is suffering, we pain to see a suffering World but we continue to remain ‘sad and gloomy’..Inspite of all this I suggest, we say..SO WHAT!!

Everyone says, you must be happy but no one tells ‘where’ to find this happiness..It’s quite simple..happiness is our own perception of the World..Our reactions to the existence of nature, its creations and its experiences..Is it not then a ‘choice of sorts’..Let us take a look at it..Nature remaining constant…All we have to deal with is ‘our own experiences’ and define them in ways that serve us better…Yes, the outside involvement remains as a support system or a obstruction system,mental, emotional or physical…either way strengthening our own resolve to ‘be’ and to keep moving forward..We might fall, but we will get up..we can still define an experience..We might succeed and be elated..we can still define the experience..But we let the ‘Worldviews’ rule our views…And based on ‘Worldviews’ , we continue to define all that we see..

So, then happiness is quite a simple thing..One can ‘choose to happy’..Not that sadness does not exist, there is enough to be sad and there is probably not enough to be happy in the big picture..In this circumstance, life tells us that ‘Happiness is to be created, by ‘distorting’ reality and ‘recreating’ the same reality into something that can be called ‘happiness’ vis a vis self..It is never about outsiders, never about what they say or do..but ‘how’ you can maintain that state inspite of everything positive or negative..No praise or criticism causes happiness..It is your response to self when you are praised or criticized that causes happiness..Being a football of people’s opinions will never bring happiness.Likewise , opinions will never bring anyone down either and kick someone around..Again..I suggest ,we say ..SO WHAT!!

Happiness can be shared, not ‘explained’..to anyone..It is not about ‘expressing’ happiness, it is about your ‘commitment to yourself, loving your existence, the responsibility we have for our own well being”..for no one is under an obligation to bring happiness into our lives, except ourselves..And as it is so rare for people to make a conscious choice to remain in a state of happiness, it is also rare that people can fully relate to it..They probably do not know it..They see it as an ‘outside’ experience..fun, laughter, enjoyment and all the happy words..But ‘happiness’ is way bigger than all these things..These are just some of the expressions, can be experienced alone or with others…There are not many who choose consciously and somewhere there is also a sense of ‘appeal’ in being sad..as that has often been ‘awarded’ for being the ‘way of life’…that is also a ‘choice’ we have made..to make it a ‘way of life’..

Our body can be tuned into ‘happiness’..Heard of ‘thermostats’..yes, the body can be brought into that state..come what may, you will ‘find a way to find something positive in everything’..We need to consciously choose and allow nothing to ‘weed’ in the sadness..And the fun part, it turns around the worst conditions..you will always be able to find something positive in the most negative person or most negative talk..I manage to love my critics and naysayers as much as I can love my loved ones..I can see their positive sides too..

Interesting this thing called ‘Happiness’ ..Rare..but always a Choice..One thing is certain,happiness begets happiness, sadness begets sadness..The Choice is entirely OURS!!Keep Smiling, Keep Happy..Keep celebrating the good things in life..!Keep celebrating yourself ! Remember, you can be happy, just for yourself..irrespective of what the Worldview of that happiness is..!

GOOD WOMAN/BAD WOMAN…CONCUBINES NO MORE!

December 28, 2012 at 10:13am

Where does the problem lie?? Or is it a problem at all !!

The city woman has ‘raised’ the quality life for herself , stepping out of her comfort zone and testing her strengths..The New Woman is capable of fending for herself and does not necessarily live for a man or because of one…The last 20 years have seen a marked improvement in the way of life for a woman with education taking leaps in our country.

However, with the massive divide that we have now of big cities and the smaller places and villages, where a Woman’s sexuality has often been suppressed either as a matter of control or as a social norm, a REPLICA of modern woman in their understanding would be equated to the ‘lower’ woman. She remains in the mind of the majority of such men and people, a ‘Concubine’ who as a matter of right has to remain under a man’s control, for his appreciation, for his approval and dependent on him. The wives had a different place and a different responsibility.The ‘other’ stuff was the responsibility of the Concubine..The levels of respect were different ..In that mind, as he knows the ‘divide’ between women already exists..There is a good woman and there is a bad woman. In many ways it seems, that their condemnation of anything modern, more expressive sexually in women, in straightaway equated to that line of thought. 

The definitions are ‘existing’These segments remain in a state of ‘denial’ or even ‘understanding’ about the change that has already set in which is also setting the aspirations of the smaller town men and women and why not? They may not have the resources, they may not have the support but aspirations have set in. From the Village to the Cities, people have traveled, aspirations have traveled but the mindsets remain back there. And the ‘CONFLICT’ is so visible today..Then there is a ‘middle ground’ which has its foot in every place, in Indian culture, some values- not all, the comforts of the modern way of being, aspirations, films, TV  etal..who have neither moved upfront, nor are they fully in the background..They try to latch on to the ‘good’ everywhere, condemning what they feel is ‘bad’..sometimes just at convenience.Media has played a ‘definitive’ rolethere..Just as the Internet brought the World closer, Media has made different sides of India ‘VISIBLE’ to each other..The intention obviously was not what we are seeing today..but the IMPACT is now visible..

The ‘new’ side, which shows ‘new possibilities’ to people for themselves or their growth or their money condition is ‘obviously’ far more interesting vis a vis the ‘cultural’ aspects that we see as documentaries and forget.How many of us will go to a Theatre to watch a documentary on Indian culture..How many of us switch to a channel which is talking how great our country is..The answer is obvious ! The cities are looking for ways to de-stress and the smaller towns are aspiring for the same life, in the hope of betterment..That is ‘visible’ betterment for the human eye and mind.Let us not forget , we are a poor country, the rich and poor divide is only getting bigger.Anything, that will show a possibility will be received with much more ‘gusto’ than something which doesn’t. All talk of values therefore is pushed behind the scenes and physical takes over..Things are to be seen to be believed..THEY ARE BEING BELIEVED ! And when it goes wrong…

The big hue and cry about sex and the influence of films sounds overstretched. They would not be selling if we were not watching them.Every product today is sold by a Film Actor, majority of the advertisements are being endorsed by known faces.Every Reality Show on TV has people from all over the country lining up for that one opportunity and aspirations.To say the least some opportunities have been created and every person who has the courage to try must get those opportunities. Since when did films or media become sources of either education or knowledge? They were meant to be for fun and entertainment. Yes, they can influence a child’s mind, but does an ‘adult’ also remain an ‘impressionable’ mind? To some extent ,Yes, the uneducated mind has a higher probability too. Films show ‘flying’ cars, where does that happen, they show jumping of trains and planes, where does that happen, who on earth ever romances while singing on streets or in jungles..or does a jig and suddenly 100 supporting dancers appear from no where dancing to the same steps and the song, who hangs out of helicopters…:-) By the same logic, sex and romance is also a bit unreal..We have ‘accepted’ the unreal as real..instead of remaining ‘REAL’. Blaming ‘films’ is not the answer..Now with the internet, we should not be too bothered about them. Do they mirror society?? Not really, they potray the Pollyana, do people want to see reality?? No they don’t..People like to see fun, they want to have fun, they want to be entertainment and with other forms of finer entertainment, too expensive and people still being underexposed to them, Films are easier to watch and access. And they are fun, songs are fun, dances are so much fun, style is fun, trends are fun, catchphrases are fun..so why can we not have fun and sleep over them..Yes,they have to be socially responsible..In their World, their social responsibility is entertainment..Why does it work??? We don’t have enough FUN in real life?? There are too many judgments, too many do’s and dont’s ! Why can’t we ‘romance’ our own way???

A Car company spends millions to research and build a Car, but has a ‘swanky’ woman stand in front of it at the time of selling??? Why is that so??? Is it the ‘Concubine’ Mindset??? Is enjoyment of ‘that’ kind limited to ‘some’ kind of men and women???

At the moment, we do not have a ‘problem’, we are SOLVING a problem..Things have reached an ‘extreme’ from the Women’s perspective..and the ‘churning’ is on..the ‘transition’ is on..After this, we sure will have some changes, maybe not ‘all’ the solutions, but atleastsome..we will see ‘tangential impacts’ around us..awareness will increase..and work will begin to sensitize society..Society MAY REALIZE that WOMEN are not DEPENDENT on them, not in thought, not for the rest, that might cause an ‘upheavel’ in the World of men, maybe 🙂

Or is it, that the ‘beauty’ lies only in WOMEN..nowhere else ! That is a POWERFUL perspective !!! 🙂

BECOME A TARZAN ENTREPRENEUR:

BEWARE OF IDEA PINCHERS

When I began as an Entrepreneur, I was so excited and passionate about what I wanted to do as a Life purpose or of my business ideas that I spoke about it with every Tom, Dick and Harry. And the Jane’s, Susan’s and Mary’s. Soon I saw Jane and Mary partnered to run an idea I spoke of, and Tom and Harry picked up another one and as they had enough money to turn the idea into a business, they did exactly that. They were all friends and family at one point and people I trusted. I remember I cried for days and looked up at the sky and asked God why he was being unfair J
Very recently, another bunch of people who felt they were more powerful and monied put all their money strength behind an idea I had worked on for years, stole my work identity and tried their level best to make money on it. They failed miserably, but someone else learnt about their move and brought it to my notice. I sued them and they have been declared imposters and now paying me damages for cheating and stealing the identity. The experience was unpleasant but protecting your ideas and identity is a fight that an Entrepreneur must learn to fight.

With so many bright minds turning into Entrepreneurs and raring to go, it is important to remember that there is a possibility of you speaking to the wrong people about your breakthrough business idea. You own it and you are the first person that deserves to make money on it. But as all new Entrepreneurs need monetary backing , they end up speaking with the wrong people in the hope that they would get the necessary funds. With hundreds of networking events asking you to pitch ideas, plenty of people wanting to fund new ideas in the hope of making money and new Entrepreneurs desirous of making it big, it is important to know when, how and where to draw the line. Idea’s can be stolen, there is no copyright on ideas, they are not protected under the law. A very famous filmmaker and veteran of films proudly and arrogantly says, ‘I steal ideas’ on his twitter page.

So how do you protect your ideas:

 1.IF YOU ARE CREATING A BRAND : Seek legal advice, protect the name and activity that you wish to pursue. Never seek money for registering your name, trade-mark or brand name. Use your own money. This is a DIY activity. The process is very simple and you must keep it discreet, stay quiet until you are legally registered. So when you do go out with the name of your business, you are covered and you can display that your trade name is legally protected. This is very important and not spoken about enough. This alone at times may be the only way someone cannot walk away with what is yours.

2.ASK FOR A CONFIDENTIALITY OR A NON–DISCLOSURE DOCUMENT : Most Funders, may not like the idea or may even refuse to talk about this. Many would say, that many people come to them with similar ideas, so it is difficult for them to take responsibility. I have had a Venture Capitalist tell me, even if we give you a non-disclosure document, that piece of paper has little value, you know we can still work on any idea with another Entrepreneur. Go to credible people. Check people’s credibility in the market, know who has worked with them and do your own due diligence. Do ask how they intend to give you and your idea protection. You have a right to know their background.

3.IDEA AND BUSINESS PLAN: If you do agree to send out your business plan to anyone for consideration, make sure it is brief and only the summary idea with the monetary returns are given out. The Investors are always keen on the numbers and want to meet the person who will take the idea through. Connect with them around these two first. Genuine people are plenty and they will always talk straight. You will find their work on their websites and you will find them in the searches. They will be quick to make decisions and they will ask very specific question regarding the monetary returns. Anyone who says give the business plan first before talking, think twice. Anyone who says, show me the numbers, understands that it boils down to support for the numbers. You choose!

4.TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE: Choose the forums where you speak about your ideas very carefully. There are many who genuinely want to support Entrepreneurship and then there are many who are mere event organizers. As an Entrepreneur you would often be tempted to present your idea to the first willing person or group. My advice is to slow down, very clearly see what the group is intending to do, how does it intend to support Entrepreneurs, who are the people behind it and their results. I remember attending an international Entrepreneur Boot camp many years ago. I was new and so fully believed in my idea that the people who organized that event, came to me for many years to sell them the content of the idea, so they could run it. Number of times, I was asked to give up on the idea, sell it to them for a pittance as they were in a position to run it better. I am a lawyer too, I saved myself of that situation.

5.BEWARE OF QUICK MONEY MAKERS : There are many people out there who are out to make a quick buck. If he can do it, I can too ,is their way to look at things. You will have to train yourself and that comes from experience to identify such people. They are the first to walk away with someone’s ideas and are fast to begin doing something about it. You have to watch who does that and how fast. Most that I have experienced have failed but they do try . There is little they can do because execution matters but there is a possibility they dilute the strength of the idea. As the owner of the idea, you will be terribly hurt if you do not watch out for such people.

6. DEVELOP THE DIY ATTITUDE: Until you have worked on every detail of your idea, keep it to yourself. Do it Yourself ! Avoid running to lots of people to give you feedback or advice. Unless you have zeroed in on people who you can trust and who can trust you , DIY is the way. Find Mentors instead of funders first. Let some seniors guide you before you jump in to raise money. Learn the ropes so you don’t face the heat of your great idea being done by some one else.

7.THE WORLD IS COMPETITIVE and WILL DO ANYTHING TO LOOK LIKE A WINNER : There is no one who does not want to win and if not that, does not want to be called a winner. Forget that the people who steal ideas, will give you credit for that. They want to take away the credit. So it is your responsibility to make sure, you are careful. I have had instances of very close friends and even family walking away and calling my ideas theirs. They even pitched the same ideas to investors as they could see the money because I showed them where the money was! Discern and be careful.

8.RELATIONSHIPS MATTER: Try to maintain good relationships with people around you. One angry person retaliates by settling scores in spoiling another’s business. There are lots of egos running helter skelter, avoid engaging with such people. Ask good questions to people , learn about them, listen to them, know their intent. If they are over bad..you know what to do. If they are over nice..you know something is fishy..Run in the opposite direction J

Wishing you safe and wealthy Entrepreneurship !

Economic value is created by human value in any company. People drive the engine of every company, not matter what the product. As a leader, you must realize that employees are looking for more than just success they are looking for significance. Your role as a leader is to create a culture of significance for those working with you. When you create a culture where your ideas and the contributions of others have value, you increase your ability to succeed in the marketplace.

Keeping Emotions in the Workplace

Often employees are working to keep their emotions in check at work. Certainly, as a leader you do not want to spend your day in overwhelming emotional roller coaster, but having emotional skills will step up your leadership. Using our emotions instead of our emotions using us up – our emotions are a resource for our work and for your team. As a leader, saying yes to the emotional needs of your team creates a pathway for emotions becoming fuel for your working together, rather than a stopping point.

Put People Before Paper

The daily tasks can get all of us on a hamster wheel of endless details. We are emotional beings, even at work, though our emotions are in the background. When you see people taking time to talk by the water cooler or have a coffee together, remember that they are creating relationships that will strengthen their ability to work together, thus creating a strong workforce. A leader who steps out and finds ways of encouraging meaningful conversations with coworkers empowers their team to feeling significant in their work. Significance leads to success.

One bit of advice that I read recently told job seekers to look for work in which the most mundane and frustrating tasks of the daily job bothered them the least. Essentially, this advice echoes a sentiment I have said over and over again – find something you enjoy doing and your enjoyment will override the mundane tasks that all of us must accomplish to move forward. As a leader, you can step up by making the tasks a part of the work day, while making the job – the heart of the work, the value of the work, the reason for the work – the focus of your team.

When you bring together the head and the heart of your team, you step up and step out in your leadership. By creating a culture of significance you increase the value of the individuals around you and you increase the value of your work.

A good leader listens intently to their employees but it is a great leader who asks questions to motivate the discussion of their employees. Let’s look at the questions that you can use to get them thinking for themselves.

Protector in Chief

Simon Sinek, author of Leaders Eat Last, says that a leader is the protector of those in her group. This is great wisdom because the reality is that employees that don’t feel supported will spend most of their time protecting themselves rather than doing their tasks and moving the team forward. To help your group move in the same direction the question to ask is, “Do you have everything you need to succeed?”

As a leader your job is to provide the tools for your team to do their jobs well. Your job is not to do their jobs for them. So take a step back and invite the discussion – what tools are necessary for success and do you have them? Be prepared for their answers and be ready to equip your team with what they feel they need to be successful.

Delegate being correct

A trap that many good leaders fall into is the desire to know everything and have all the answers. Of course, when it is your project, you want to be aware of everything going on. A good leader will do that. A great leader will allow others to contribute their very best skills to the project. Make sure you surround yourself with individuals who have a lot to offer and then ask the question, “Who has a better idea?”

Listening to the ideas of others and getting their contribution early on will inspire employees to invest in the project. If you hear them referring to something as ‘your project’ rather than ‘our project’ you know you need to invite the ideas of your team for ultimate success.

Gaining Trust

When you see a team member falling behind or rolling their eyes, you’re first question might be “Do you have a problem?” Instead take your own reaction, your own emotions out of the equation for a moment. Put yourself in the shoes of the individual – what is going on in their personal life? What dynamics are at play with this person and the rest of the team? Do they want more to do or are they feeling overwhelmed and need something taken off their plate? The only way to know what is really going on is to ask the question, “Is everything OK?”

Tell your team member what you are seeing in their participation and their work and let them know you want to help.

Listening to your team is important to your success as a leader, and the only way to get in touch with their needs is to not only be ready to listen, but ask questions that help them feel safe and appreciated.

We all know that the mark of a good leader is one who listens.  In my work as a life coach and coach to professional Olympic Athletes, listening well is the way to diagnose the issues that need to be addressed.  One way to make sure you are listening well is to become a ‘Questioning Leader’.  A great leader asks questions that motivate the open discussion of their employees.

Employees that don’t feel supported will spend most of their time protecting themselves rather than doing their tasks and moving the team forward.  To help your group move in the same direction the question to ask is, “Do you have everything you need to succeed?”

As a leader you want to provide the tools for your team to do their jobs well.  It’s a trap to do their jobs for them.  So take a step back and invite the discussion – what tools are necessary for success and do you have them?  Be prepared for their answers and be ready to equip your team with what they feel they need to be successful.

Another trap that many leaders fall into is the desire to know everything and have all the answers.  Of course, when it is your project, you want to be aware of everything going on but you might not have the expertise in every area.  Make sure you surround yourself with individuals who have a lot to offer and then ask the question, “Who has a better idea?”

Listening to the ideas of others and getting their contributions early on will inspire individuals’ investment in the project. If you hear them referring to something as ‘your project’ rather than ‘our project’ you know you need to invite the ideas of your team for ultimate success.

When you see a team member falling behind put yourself in the shoes of the individual – what is going on in their personal life?  What dynamics are at play with this person and the rest of the team?  Do they want more to do or are they feeling overwhelmed and need something taken off their plate?  The only way to know what is really going on is to ask the question, “Is everything OK?”  Reassure your team member that you want to help make them great and their needs are important to you and to the team.

Listening to your team is important to your success as a leader, and the only way to get in touch with their needs is to not only be ready to listen, but ask questions that help them feel safe and appreciated.

A new monthly series in the UK’s The Guardian asks women in leadership to write an article on advice to their younger selves.  Cookery entrepreneur Hari Ghotra wrote in November 2014 that she is fulfilling her dream of bringing Indian food to the masses with an online Indian cookery school. “I would encourage my younger self to savour the good ones (experiences) and learn from the not so good ones (experiences).”  This is an excellent practice for all of us and it is especially helpful as a new years practice. Imagine that The Guardian has asked you to write the next article for their series.  How would you share your experiences with others in order to help them grow?  Thinking about how your story could help someone else is a wonderful way to help yourself take your own advice.

Looking back into the lives of our younger selves can bring about an understanding of the pitfalls that we keep tripping into over and over again. People magazine recently asked the U.S. first lady, Michelle Obama, if she could go back in time, what words of wisdom would she give to her younger self.  “If I could give my younger self just one piece of advice, it would be this: Stop being so afraid! That’s really what strikes me when I look back – the sheer amount of time I spent tangled up in fears and doubts that were entirely of my own creation,” said the First Lady.

The practice of going back can have one of two effects – it can either move you forward or it can hold you back.  When you look back, it is important to keep your focus forward.  Think of driving a car – looking in the rear view mirror on occasion, when you have already established your forward focus, increases your safety and your forward movement.  If, on the other hand, you look behind you while you are moving forward in a fashion that is haphazard or while you are trying to move into another lane, they you run the risk of swerving off course. It’s important to establish your forward movement first.  Take a moment and write out your vision for yourself. Write down three things you have done in the past week to move yourself towards that vision.  Then write down three things you have done in the past month and the six months and the past year to move yourself forward.  That will keep your focus straight ahead on the lane you want to be driving in.

First Lady Obama recalled a habit of doubting herself while entrepreneur Ghotra recounted that ups and downs in her past should be viewed as learning steps.  This new year’s take some time to see what lessons from your younger self can assist you in building the skills that will bring you success in your business.  How can you apply the lessons of your past to the plans you have for your future? Enjoy the trip back but remember to bring back only what you need to keep you moving forward.

People magazine recently asked the U.S. first lady, Michelle Obama, if she could go back in time, what words of wisdom would she give to her younger self.  “If I could give my younger self just one piece of advice, it would be this: Stop being so afraid! That’s really what strikes me when I look back – the sheer amount of time I spent tangled up in fears and doubts that were entirely of my own creation,” said the First Lady.

This is an excellent practice for all of us, especially as we crest into a new year.  Looking back can have one of two effects – it can either move you forward or it can hold you back.

Back and Forth

When you look back, it is important to keep your focus forward.  Think of driving a car – looking in the rear view mirror on occasion, when you have already established your forward focus, increases your safety and your forward movement.  If, on the other hand, you look behind you while you are moving forward in a fashion that is haphazard or while you are trying to move into another lane, they you run the risk of swerving off course. It’s important to establish your forward movement first.  Take a moment and write out your vision for yourself. Write down three things you have done in the past week to move yourself towards that vision.  Then write down three things you have done in the past month and the six months and the past year to move yourself forward.  That will keep your focus straight ahead on the lane you want to be driving in.

All Grown Up

A new monthly series in the UK’s The Guardian asks women in leadership to write an article on advice to their younger selves.  Cookery entrepreneur Hari Ghotra wrote in November 2014 that she is fulfilling her dream of bringing Indian food to the masses with an online Indian cookery school. “I would encourage my younger self to savour the good ones (experiences) and learn from the not so good ones (experiences).”

Looking back farther than just the year, into the lives of our younger selves can bring about an understanding of the pitfalls that we keep tripping into.  First Lady Obama recalled a habit of doubting herself while entrepreneur Ghotra recounted that ups and downs in her past should be viewed as learning steps.  This new year’s take some time to see what lessons from your younger self can assist you in building the skills that will bring you success in your business.  How can you apply the lessons of your past to the plans you have for your future? Enjoy the trip back but remember to bring back only what you need to keep you moving forward.